LOVE SHIT

Here we go again. When people say "love hurts," they weren't lying.  This LOVE SHIT is becoming too much for me.  I'm new to this whole LOVE SHIT game. I mean I've had a connection or two, even a very strong like.  But this time around, it's this LOVE SHIT.  How do I know? Because I'm doing things that are so out of character for me. If I was on the outside of the situation looking at myself, I would say that I was stupid. I would call myself all kinds of stupid bitches and tell myself to get it together.  I would criticize the hell out of me; I do it to others all the time. But I think that is because I've never had to deal with this LOVE SHIT.

This LOVE SHIT is cool when everything is going right. When we are both 'acting right.'  It can be the best thing that has happened to you.  But when there's a fuck up on one of our part, this LOVE SHIT can blow up in your face like a grenade (lately it's been like WWII).  This LOVE SHIT has my head spinning and my heart hurting.  The depth of sadness is often unbearable. The battle scars are unrepairable. But when the smoke clears that LOVE SHIT is still there. Now I'm at a crossroad, do I put up with this LOVE SHIT or do I tell this LOVE SHIT to kiss my ass?   

Which of the sayings are true?:

When you love something you let it go.

OR

Fight for the one you love./Anything that is worth having is worth fighting for.

Wonderful People

I am slowly learning to appreciate the little things in life. I have some wonderful people in my life and I want them to know that I really appreciate the little things they do.

* Tina thanks for always keeping me positive and washing my clothes when I ask.

* Chavon thanks for always giving me positive affirmations.

* Jaime thanks for checking in on me even though your mega busy you still make sure I'm ok and that makes me feel special.

* V thanks for driving me crazy cause life would be boring without you.

* Nana thanks for listening to my craziness whenever I call. My Nana is the only person in this world that I feel that I can tell anything.

* Arthur thanks for always praying with me.

* Kiesha thanks for all the banging meals.

*Geri thanks for always treating me like family.

* Elicka thanks for putting up with my insaness. Its not easy living with me.

* Prophet thanks for always taking care of your mother. Even though I'm too young to be your real mother in my heart you are truly my son.

* Lena thanks for being such a loyal sister.

* Daddy thanks the endless advice and counseling.

* Mommy thanks for always looking out for my best interest.

* Jamie thanks for always listening to me and loving me.

I don't know where I would be without you wonderful people.

Withdrawal

def. : the act of taking back or away something that has been granted or possessed.

It has been 12 days since my last fix. I don't know what it is but, when I don't have that fix I start going crazy. For the first 5 days I had anxiety because the feeling was still fresh, I had just gotten a whiff and I was fiending for another trip. Then for then next 5 days I was scheming, thinking of ways to get back to where I was. I guess you can say I was chasing my "high". And now I'm depressed...I need my fix...I am soooo unhappy...I NEED MY FIX....I need to go to the mall.

I miss the mall so much. I know it sounds crazy but shopping can be a serious addiction. And the crazy thig is while I am trying to fight the urge, all of my favorite stores keep sending me coupons and emails. As if they were saying, "we miss you, come back and play." Now granted I am not as bad as most but I still have a love for shopping. I need to go to the mall at least once a week in order to feel satisfied. So I researched the topic of "Shopaholism," I discovered that I might be classified as a Shopaholic.

Classification of a Shopaholic would include:
~ Hiding Purchases (Never)
~ Spending Over Budget (Ummm a lil...Sometimes)
~ Compulsive Buying (I don't think so...what do you think?)
~ Shopping or spending money as a result of feeling angry, depressed, anxious, or lonely. (Oh
Yes...when I'm sad, I spend)
~ Describing a rush or a feeling of euphoria with spending (The best feeling ever)
~ Thinking obsessively about money (Doesn't everyone)
~ Spending a lot of time juggling accounts or bills to accommodate spending (Uh No...Bills first
shopping second)
(http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/shopping-spree-addiction)

Soooo is it a HOBBY or an ADDICTION???

Gay Marriages

I really do not know where I stand on this topic. Last week I was sitting at my 1st Gay wedding. Now if this was 10 years ago I would probably be trying to burn the couple at the stake. I sure have come along way.

Who determines whether the union of same sex couple's is right or not. Currently each individual state determines whether or not to legalized marriage. But isn't marriage sanctified my God? Does the government have the right to make this determination? The following link discusses what the government is currently saying about Gay marriages:

http://gaymarriage.lifetips.com/cat/64316/gay-marriage-in-us/index.html

I also found this website that makes reference to the bible and gay marriages. And while the Bible does address homosexuality, it does not explicitly mention gay marriage/same-sex marriage. It is clear, however, that the Bible condemns homosexuality as an immoral and unnatural sin. Here's the website:

http://www.gotquestions.org/gay-marriage.html

While we can read the above and make our own determination on the topic, one thing that I am a firm believer in is happiness. And if a person is truly happy then that is all that matters. Congratulations Janae and La Shonda!!! I'm glad that I was able to be apart of your wedding. All the Best!!!