Damn it’s been over five month and the pain still cuts deep like a knife. They say it takes at least half of the time you were together to get over a person. So I guess it will take me about 3 1/2 years to get over this. So I guess that's 6 month down and 36 more to go. For the most part, I'm fine. It’s just isolated periods when I reminisce on the time we shared. And I always wonder, does he ever think about me? Does he cherish the same memories that I do? Does he even think about me at all? Probably not.
I know most of you are thinking: "What the fuck is wrong with Cotton?" She is the strongest female I know. But the inside scoop is that I was raised not to love. I was raised that men would break your heart every time and this was taught to me by the males in my family. So, for a long time I didn't love. I never let guys get close to me because I thought they were all just plotting to break my heart.
But, this one guy, I just didn't have a choice. For me, it was love at first site. And that love turned disastrous. And my uncles were right. He broke my heart. I'm dealing with the situation to the best of my ability but this shit just hurts.
I have faith the one day the tears will stop. One day the pain will go away. One day I will no longer love him. But right now I still do. I guess it hurts so much because he's my first and only love. He is the only person that I have given my heart to. And what scares me the most is that he may be the last.
I trusted him so much and I felt like I was betrayed. Now, I trust no one. My heart is very fragile so I just cut everyone out.
